Yer from Rural Wisconsin If...

A little humor for today. One of my cousins (who actually did grow up in rural Wisconsin) sent this to me. I grew up in semi-rural Wisconsin (in a small town just outside Milwaukee), and most of these still applied. I'm sure a lot of these apply in a lot of states, but are still funny.

You grew up in rural Wisconsin if...

You know how to polka , but never tried it sober... sounds about right

You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.

You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the reception and wedding dance. This also applies immediately before the wedding, but they just do it separately instead of together

You know the difference between "Green" and "Red" farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better! Due to a former huge local employer, it was mostly orange vs. green farm equipment

You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm. OK, that must be a rural thing...

You spent more on beer & liquor than you did on food at your wedding. Well, duh!!

You hear someone use the word "oof-dah" and you don't break into uncontrollable laughter.

You or someone you know was a "Dairy Princess" at the county fair. Actually, I have danced with several "Dairy Princesses" and "Alice in Dairylands" when I did volunteer work at the state fair, and we would have a couple of dances a week with the 4-H kids who were also housed on grounds. However, I have never actually known one.

You know that "combine" is a noun.

You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.

You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions. You mean there are others?

You know that "creek" rhymes with "pick".

Football schedules, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.

A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer. There are two of you, better get at least a twelver.

Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.

There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning... phew!

You have driven your car on the lake.

You can make sense of "upnort" and "batree".

Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance. and drunken polkas...

Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.

The local gas station sells live bait. and hunting & fishing licenses...

At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.

You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.

Pop is the only name for soda. We always called it "soda", but the rest of the state calls it "pop"

You actually understand these jokes and will forward them to all your Wisconsin friends!