R U a Dumbass?

Yesterday I wasn't feeling all that well and I was bored, so I decided to watch a little TV. Jeopardy was preempted by the NCAA basketball tournaments, so I tuned in to "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?". After watching this show once, I think a better name for it would be "Are You Smart Enough to be Alive? Or are we Going to Have to Remind You to Breath Because you are Way Too Eff'ing Stupid to Remember to do That on Your Own?"

Here are some of the questions that the contestants had problems with:

1. On which planet would you be the heaviest? Mercury, Saturn, Jupiter?
2. If the diameter of a circle is 4 inches, what is the radius?
   
3. Y = 3X, 3X = 12. What is Y?
4. What is the adverb in the following sentence: "My wife snored loudly..." (there was more, but nothing even closely resembling an adverb)
5. Density is defined as Mass divided by what?
6. Do Ohio and Illinois share a border?
   
7. What is the only continent that is also a country?

How incredibly eff'ing dumb do you have to be? Seriously...

On number seven, the woman actually said something like "well, North America is a continent and a country...". Really? And you really so stupid that, in fourty-four frickin' revolutions around the sun you have not yet figured out the difference between "North America" (the continent), and "The United States of America", "Mexico", and "Canada"?

She then said that all seven continents are also countries. So, according to this twit, Europe is a single county (forget about France, Spain, Italy, Greece, etc). Same for Asia, Africa, North America, South America, and even Antarctica (which, by the way, is the only continent with NO countries). She even said "Australia" when naming off the continents, but it never clicked in her brainless head that "Australia" was actualy the correct answer...

Anyhow, by the end of the show, I was ready to put a gun to my head. At least at that point, I would be as "smart" as the people on the show...

BTW, the correct answers are:

1. On which planet would you be the heaviest? Mercury, Saturn, Jupiter? - Jupiter. I guess you could be excused for not knowing if Saturn or Jupiter had more mass, but if you guessed Mercury, please take one more step into the Sun. Also, if you had no clue that the mass of the planet had any bearing on your weight, please also manage to find your way into the sun.
   
2. If the diameter of a circle is 4 inches, what is the radius? - Diameter is the distance from one end of a circle to the other end passing through the center point. Radius is the distance from the edge of the circle to the center point. Thus, the radius if half of the diameter. Thus, if the diameter if 4 inches, the radius is 2 inches, and if you didn't know that, you are thus a total dumb-ass...
   
3. Y = 3X, 3X = 12. What is Y? - OK, this is so amazingly eff'ing stupid that if you can't figure it out, then I am not sure how you remember how to breath without constant prodding... Hint: 3X == 3X...
   
4. What is the adverb in the following sentence: "My wife snored loudly..." (there was more, but nothing even closely resembling an adverb) - Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, get your adverbs here, father son and Lolly selling adverbs here...
   
5. Density is defined as Mass divided by what? - Believe it or not, the contestent said "air"... In case you are just as stupid, no, the answer is actually "volume".
   
6. Do Ohio and Illinois share a border? - Um, no, Indiana is in the way... Duh...
   
7. What is the only continent that is also a country? - Australia...

Quite frankly, if you are so dumb that you didn't know this stuff, please, please, please shoot yourself now before you do something really stupid like breed...

Thx!